yucky

to our teacher...

p: hey mr s...any advice for valentines day?
mr s: yeah google search STD'S and click on images.

pms

in class. s had cramps.

s: ugh im going to the office to get a heating pad.
p: why?
s: for my tummy
p: what are you going to do?? incubate a baby??!

awkward

k: hi whats your name?
c: im number 3853. i come from a colony where they give us numbers, not names.

lost and found.

me: cameron! stop jumping to conclusions!!
c: FIRST OF ALL...I CANT EVEN SPELL THE WORD CONCLUSIONS! AND SECOND...oh my gosh where are my socks?

sorry dad

while looking at pictures of my dad in the 70's

me: so THATS where ally (my little sister) gets her awkward, gangliness!
k: your right! we just didnt know cause dad got fat.

we are engaged?

when i told my friend i didnt remember he "proposed" to me he said....

"my heart beats like a bird wing.
your the one who makes my soul sing.
if we were ghetto i would give you bling...
but we are engaged, thats why i gave your
dumb ass a ring."

at the lunch table

"you wanna know what happens when two ugly people have sex................?? YOU"